A Post for National Honesty Day, 2019

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by Aspen Lofgren, Unspoken Voices


Dear Bestie . . .

We haven’t spoken in ages, so I apologize for this coming from nowhere. I am compelled to share this information with you because I think it will be best for my healing and possibly help you in the future. I am not sure you will remember this incident but it has fucked me up.

After •••••'s Christmas Party, I volunteered to bring you home. You were drinking, I don’t believe you had a car then, you offered that I could sleep in your mother’s room, and I trusted you because you were my friend. We went to Mickey’s Diner to get some food and when we finally got to your home it was so late and I was very tired. I don’t even know what led up to this incident and I think (hope) you were trying to be funny. You forced yourself upon me and lay your body on top of mine. I just remember struggling to move, crying, and begging you to get off. I think afterwards, you said you were just messing around. I tried so hard to brush it off and pretend that you were just messing around, but you clearly crossed a line and made a traumatic impression in my memory.

I know it may sound silly, but I still struggle being comfortable with any sexual encounters.  My brain immediately jumps to that night when I hug or kiss someone. This is how traumatic sexual assault can be. I have shared this experience many times, explaining how sexual assault happens a lot with people who you care about and will be sharing this letter. I will not share names though. I am not really looking for a type of response, like I said I hope this will help me with healing and hopefully allow you to recognize your actions and the consequences they may have on people. I really appreciate your time for reading this.

I still love you and wish you and your family well,

- Aspen